<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Torn by queenmagnus</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22480234">Torn</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenmagnus/pseuds/queenmagnus'>queenmagnus</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanctuary (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>RMS Titanic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 12:40:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,034</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22480234</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenmagnus/pseuds/queenmagnus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Helen sets sail on the Titanic putting an ocean between herself and her life in London. Could there be a more sinister reason for her departure? Unbeknownst to everyone is a far more greater disaster the ship of dreams has in store. Nothing too shippy, I just tried to expand on canon relationships</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Helen Magnus &amp; James Watson, Montague John Druitt/Helen Magnus, Montague John Druitt/Helen Magnus/James Watson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Helen stirred as she sensed James move from the bed they shared. It was only recently that she let him into her bed. Nothing more than a comforting cuddle had occurred between them, not yet anyway. It been several years since she had let anyone touch her body in a more sensual way. Not since John had left. Not since the Ripper.</p><p>Both of their lives had been torn apart the night James had finally figured out the truth. A truth he had been blind to. Both he and Helen were still working on healing their broken hearts. It seemed only natural that they’d find the most comfort with each other.</p><p>It had started with a touch here or there, an embrace that lasted just a bit too long to be casual. Then there had been the night Helen’s nightmares spilled over into reality, he screams echoing through the halls of the London Sanctuary. James had come to her and he held her until she found a semblance of peace once again. This was the first night she asked him to stay when he made to leave.</p><p>So he had.</p><p>He held her tight against him and for the first time in ages Helen Magnus felt safe. She slept soundly, her past forgotten in a dreamless slumber.</p><p>Tonight was the first night he had kissed her. They had enjoyed a quiet dinner out on the town. They strolled the streets of London and in the warm glow of a nearby street lamp she cupped his face and gently kissed him. Nothing was said as they made their way home but James felt a part of his own heart heal he had thought broken forever.</p><p>“Darling, where are you going?”</p><p>Helen was still half asleep, her voice barely more than a murmur. James leaned across the bed and placed a tender kiss upon her forehead.</p><p>“I’ve just had a thought about a recent case of mine. Nipping off to the Yard.”</p><p>Helen didn’t protest. She knew how much his recent case had enthralled him. The thrill of the case energizing him in a way she hadn’t seen since before Whitechapel. Instead she rolled back over and pulled the blanket closer around her.</p><p>James smiled to himself and finished getting dressed, slipping quietly into the calm night. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>James returned home to the Sanctuary mid-morning the next day. A fresh skip in his step and a half dozen sweet bread rolls as a gift for Helen. For the first time in years he felt good. His mind up for the challenge of a tricky case and his heart yearning for her love.</p><p>He walked into the foyer and his good mood was deflated with a sense of puzzlement. The place was practically buzzing. One of Helen’s maids hauled a large suitcase and set it next to a small collection of bags situated near the front door.</p><p>“What the devil is going on here? Where’s Helen?”</p><p>The young woman waved her hand dismissively as she hurried back up the stairs.</p><p>“She’s in the kitchen!”</p><p>James made his way to the kitchens and could hear Helen’s voice giving someone clear instructions on the proper feeding procedures for one of the abnormals housed there. He placed the rolls on the counter.</p><p>“Helen?”</p><p>Her body language shifted, becoming stiff and tense. She didn’t turn to look at him and the young man she had been speaking to did not need to be told to leave the room. She turned vaguely in his direction, carefully not making eye contact with him.</p><p>“I’m leaving London.”</p><p>“You’re leaving Lond- Helen what the bloody hell is going on?!”</p><p>She quickly started making her way to the main foyer, still deliberately avoiding his gaze.</p><p>“I’m going to New York. To check on the new Sanctuary. I- I just need a change. In scenery. In people.”</p><p>James had finally had enough, speeding up enough to grab her by the elbow and turn her to face him. She flinched horribly like he had branded her with his touch. When she finally made eye contact with him he was startled to see they were filled with tears.</p><p>“Helen, please tell me what’s wrong? What I’ve done wrong? <em>Please</em>…”</p><p>Her eyes were full of emotion, there was something she wasn’t telling him, something she ached to tell him.</p><p>And yet she didn’t.</p><p>Gently she tore her arm free of his grasp and turned toward to front door. Her belongings were now being loaded into her carriage.</p><p>“London is full of memories I’d rather forget, James. I feel like I’m suffocating.”</p><p>Her maid was helping her pull on her overcoat.</p><p>“What about me, Helen? What about us!”</p><p>He was feeling emotion after emotion. Confusion, sadness, anger. They had just started rebuilding their lives together. He had thought they were finally healing, moving on. What had he done wrong? Was it his long hours on the job?</p><p>She finally turned to him as walked to the door. Her face was free from the emotions of a few moments ago. Her steel façade in place, unreadable even to him.</p><p>“We need space James. Space from each other. Our feelings are nothing more than a replacement for our mutual loss and trauma.”</p><p>The words were like a lance through his heart. All the healing, all the growth; gone.</p><p>“Helen, you surely don’t mean th-“</p><p>“I’m sorry if you’re too blinded to see it. It would not be the first time you’ve been too blinded by your emotions to see the truth laid out in front of you.”</p><p>Struck dumb, he stopped in the entryway as he watched her walk to the carriage. She didn’t even look back to him as the door was closed and the carriage jolted to a start down the cobblestone road. He watched until she was out of sight, frozen in shock and heartbreak.</p><p>“Dr. Watson?”</p><p>He was brought back to reality by the young maid.</p><p>“Dr. Watson, Miss Helen asked me to give this once she was gone.”</p><p>She held out a small envelope to him and he took it eagerly making his way back into the Sanctuary. He found himself in the library, sinking slowly into one of the cushy armchairs he had so often shared with his dear friend. He carefully opened the envelope and found a short letter written in Helen’s hand.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Dear James,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I know this does not make sense and I’m not sure it ever will but if I don’t leave now I’m afraid I’ll lose myself forever. You’ve done nothing wrong and I cherish our time together more than you know. We’re just not meant to be together in way beyond friends. I hope you can forgive me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-Helen </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>James turned the paper over hoping for something more but that was all she had written. The other content of the envelope was the itinerary for her trip. They had talked about the ship, everyone in all of England had talked about it. And Helen Magnus was going to be a part of her maiden voyage. Of course she was. He crumpled the paper in his hand, true anger boiling inside him. Why wasn’t this something they could have done together? Why did she have to go at alone? Stubborn, willful, selfish. She was being selfish.</p><p>He angrily got up from the chair making his way back to the foyer and out the front door. He needed to get as far from the Sanctuary and any other reminder of Helen Magnus as possible. He knew she expected him to see her off, to put aside his own feelings in favor of hers. But not this time. She made it clear she wanted to be alone and that’s exactly what she’d be.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Helen arrived in Southampton feeling anxious about the journey to come. She watched as her bags and belongings were unloaded and broad on board the magnificent ship. The ship of dreams they called it.</p><p>It was a little under an hour to departure and she still hadn’t caught sight of him. There was a part of her that started to worry that he wouldn’t actually come. That she had wounded him in a way that might not be forgiven. When she could wait no longer she made her way onto the ship, unable to prevent the butterflies of excitement at being a part of such a momentous point in history.</p><p>Helen stood on one of the upper decks reserved for first class passengers and searched desperately for his face in the impressive crowd that had gathered to see the Titanic make its first trip across the Atlantic.</p><p>“Who you looking for darling?”</p><p>Helen started at the question. She hadn’t realized someone was so close to her. She turned to look at the woman standing next to her. The woman reminded Helen of a bulldog. She was clad in elegant furs and some questionably gaudy jewelry but every inch of her indicated she was a woman who could hold her own and Helen could not help but feel drawn to her.</p><p>“N-no one. Just a friend.”</p><p>“Must be some friend.”</p><p>Helen shot her an annoyed look.</p><p>“Hey, I just call them as I see them and the look on your face seems to me to indicate you’re looking for someone a lot more than ‘just a friend’.”</p><p>Helen sighed and closed her eyes, resigned to how transparent her emotions apparently were.</p><p>“He is, or rather was I suppose, someone I thought of as more than just a friend.”</p><p>The woman smiled in triumph and nudged Helen playfully. Helen smiled a bit herself but her features turned solemn once again.</p><p>“But I ended it. We weren’t a good match.”</p><p>The woman frowned and wrapped her arm around Helen.</p><p>“Sweetheart, you’re kidding yourself if you think you don’t have feelings for him. I’ve know you 2 minutes and even I can see how much you love him. What really happened?”</p><p>“I’m sorry…?”</p><p>“Oh! I haven’t properly introduced myself, have I? Margaret Brown. But my friends call me Maggie.”</p><p>“I’m sorry Margaret-“</p><p>“Maggie, please”</p><p>“Maggie, then. I honestly don’t want to talk about it.”</p><p>Maggie seemed disappointed but to Helen’s great relief didn’t press the matter more. Instead she took to intently looking out into the crowd.</p><p>“What’s this man of yours look like anyway. Sweet mercy! I think we’re moving!”</p><p>Helen’s heart sank as she too realized the ship had begun to move. She searched the crowd again but he wasn’t there. She turned from the railing as the weight of the realization pressed in on her.</p><p>“He didn’t come.”</p><p>With a deep, shuddering breath she dropped to her knees and could not help the tears that spilled down her cheeks.</p><p>“Oh merciful lord… there there dear, it’s alright. There there.”</p><p>Maggie Brown had crouched down next to Helen wrapping her arm around her. She pulled a handkerchief from her blouse and dabbed at Helen’s tears. It wasn’t long before Helen had calmed and she sniffed loudly.</p><p>“I’m so sorry Maggie, you must think me a complete disaster.”</p><p>“Heaven’s sake deary! I know a thing or two about heartache and don’t want any of your apologies. Why don’t we head inside and you can tell me a bit more about yourself. Maybe start with a name?”</p><p>“Oh! I’ve completely lost my mind and apparently my manners. I’m Helen. Dr. Helen Magnus.”</p><p>Maggie’s eyes grew wide as the pair of them got to their feet. She looked at Helen with a quizzical eye.</p><p>“Doctor? Oh, Helen, I have a feeling there’s a lot more to you than meets the eye.”</p><p>She hooked her arm in Helen’s and escorted into the ship.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>James was sprinting now.</p><p>He had told himself he was not going to the port to see her off. He had sworn off anything to do with Helen Magnus. And yet here he was running down a street in Southampton hoping for one last goodbye. As he got closer to the port he heard the cheers of the crowd. He finally rounded a corner and saw the ship. Saw the ship as it pulled away. With Helen on board.</p><p>He was too late.</p><p>She was gone.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>